▶ Your Answer :
Some people
might think that people who are different in personalities or interests will
not be able to become friends. However, in my opinion, I believe that it is
possible. In addition, the difference between people can afford many valuable
advantages. for the following two subsequent reasons.
First of all,
building relationships with various people can lead you to successful life successful life (독립형 에세이에서는 you를 서술하면 안됩니다). The meaning of success has
completely changed compared to the past in comparison to the past. If it was merely focusing on one’s own
way, now it is different. Along with your own ability, it is crucial to forming
a wide network in your life and it comes from people around you Along with own ability, it is crucial to form own way which comes from friend. For example,
when I was in high school, I was very passive and introverted student. I had a
lot of talent at music though, it was hard to play in front of other students.
At that time, my friends who are very active and extroverted recognized my
talent and endorsed me actively. Thanks to these friends’ support, I can apply
for a school concert audition, and I won the prize. The difference between my
friends and my personality gave me a better result.
Second, if you
only meet similar people, it is not helpful for you to gain much knowledge one cannot gain knowledge from similar friend. It is required for people to
have a wide various of knowledge. A person with a great amount of knowledge is
regarded as ‘a person of intelligence’ in this world. On the other hand, those
who have no interest and knowledge might simply be ignored. For instance,
my sister is a dancer so most of her friends are dancers, too. Sometimes it is
nice to have many dancers around. However, my sister said to me that she often
feels a limit when talking to her friends. This is because they doesn’t They do not (this is because는 적절하지 않는 표현 입니다) know
about the issues in this world except their major. After hearing her concerns,
I found out that it is really significant to have a diverse friend.
점수: 21 일단 결론이 어디있나요? 독립형 에세이에서 결론이 하는 역할은 에세이를 마무리 하는 역할을 담당하고 있습니다. 하지만 지금 이 에세이 같은 경우는 결론이 없다 보니 마무리가 무엇인지 모르겠습니다. 따라서 결론을 꼭 서술하시길 바랍니다. 또한 이 에세이는 인트로의 방향성이 틀린 거 같습니다.It is possible이라고 해서 동등한 성격을 가진 친구를 두는 게 좋다로 보였는데 아니였습니다. 따라서 주제에 방향성을 확실히 잡고 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셧습니다.
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