▶ Your Answer :
There might be some people who believe that
universities should spend much more money on libraries than on sports.
However, I personally disagree with the above idea for two subsequent reasons.; Students can relieve their stress and make have a fun time by doing sports.
To begin with, physical activities help
people relieve stress. University students today are under a lot of stress and
pressure due to the competitiveness of today’s society. Being stressed and
tired, they lose their motivation and cannot focus while studying in libraries.
Having enough time to work out with better supports of universities, they can
be refreshed and focus better at school. According to a recent study conducted
by Korea University, 80 percent of respondents says that they can release their
stress and forget about their worries and problems in their daily routines
while exercising. However, they often have difficulty in doing so. This is due
to the fact that their schools don’t have enough facilities. This clearly shows
that despite a strong desire to exercise, most students are simply unable to do
so.
On top of that, Sports are likely to create
fun memories to for students. Although some might think that students can learn
valuable lessons in libraries, this kind of experiences are not as memorable. This
is because while students studying alone, they might feel lonely and blue. Let
me introduce my personal experience as an example. When I was a freshman, my university
built a new gym on campus available to every student. Whenever I have a free
time, I enjoyed going there and exercising with my friends. We had a good time
and a lot of fun in that I cannot forget things until now. If it had not been
for the gym, we could not made make such exciting experiences.
In conclusion, Sports can provide students great
chances not only to relieve stress but to make enjoyable memories. In this
regard, money should be spent on sports as much as on
libraries in universities.
예상 점수: 24-27 총평: 인트로에서 much보다는 more이 어법상 더 맞는 표현입니다. 어휘 선택상 문제가 많습니다. 먼저 make ->have 시간을 만든다는 것은 이상하기 때문에 갖는다는 뜻의 have가 맞고 made->make가 시제상 더 적합한 표현입니다. 내용은 크게 문제가 없고 예시도 적합하게 잘 제시해주셨네요. 수고 많으셨습니다. |