▶ Your Answer : Some people might think that there will be scores of disadvantages when teachers are getting get paid according to their students’ performance. However, in my opinion, It will benefit both teachers and students in many ways when teachers are compensated based on their pupils’ performance for the following two subsequent reasons. To begin with, how well students are doing do depends on their teachers’ knowledge of his or her on subject matter. Students will be able to learn a lot of things when their teachers comprehend their subject fully. This is why teachers need to be paid in accordance with their students’ performance. For example, during my high school time, I had encountered a number of teachers that who are short of knowledge and incapable of teaching. Accordingly, our performance of those subjects was abysmal while they got paid the same as the other teachers who were much more skillful in their fields. On top of that, establishing a pay scale equally no matter how they perform at teaching can be considered as communism. It will probably cause disharmony among teachers since teachers with a significant amount of knowledge are being penalized. Some of them might stop caring about their teaching skills and scamp their work which will deteriorate a whole performance of their school at the end. For instance, a study conducted by Seoul National University has shown that school which has the policy of compensating their teachers equitably is suffering from low performance of their students in scholastic aptitude test. Average of 400 points less on the test score was reported in the study. To sum up, paying teachers based on the performance of their students is fair enough because it is directly linked to their knowledge of his or her subject. In this regard, I maintain that students’ performance should be the basis for teachers’ earnings. Good: 24~30 점수: 25 일단 두 번째 바디 이유는 적절치 않는 거 같습니다. 뭔가 이유가 너무 극단적입니다. 공산주의로 간다는 것은 비현실성이 큽니다. 따라서 독립형 에세이를 서술 할 때에 있어 이유를 선정할 때 극단적인 것 보다는 뭔가 이해가 되는 이유를 선정하는게 더 좋을 거 같습니다. 이러한 부분을 재외하면 논리적으로 잘 서술된 에세이입니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |