■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : Moving to differnet countries or towns is not good because of old friends. |
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▶ Your Answer : It is of great worth to discuss whether or not moving to different countries or towns is not good because of losing the old friends. While some people might agree with this statement, others might disagree. As far as I concerned, I disagree with the given statement. First, the friends of hometown do not usually change. This is because I and my friends grew together. Hence, this kind of childhood memory is never forgotten. When I was a freshman, in Chung nam national university, I had to move because the university is not near my home. A lot of my friends were in the same situation. We were so sad, but also excited about our new university life. We promised that let’s meet at every vacation. I am a third grade of the university, but we still see each other. These friends are so special that I can rely on them everything. One friend already got her job. Thus if we meet we can share our personal experiences and recall the memory of childhood. This strong friendship is kind of fun and makes me more cheerful.
Second, the research conducted by Seoul national university, one of the most prominent research center in South Korea, showed that more than 60 percent of students who moved the city because of the location of university performed better in school. The research inspected their grades and how many clubs they are in. The students who moved from their hometown was significantly doing good jobs. They had a good grade, and they participated more than two clubs. This indicates that they are good to adopt various situation. In addition, the students were asked if they broke up their best friends because of moving out. Interestingly, more than 75 percent of students were in good relationships. However, even they broke apart, it is not about the distance, the difference of personality. Even they moved out they performed well in everything. In this regard, I strongly support the opinion that Moving to different countries or towns does not mean losing the old friend.
Good:24~30 점수: 24 일단 너무 구어체 스럽다라는 느낌이 듭니다. 에세이를 서술하였다라고 보기보다는 자신의 일지를 읽는 듯 한 느낌을 받았습니다. 이러한 이유는 예시가 너무 개인적이여서 그런 거 같습니다. 예시에서 중점을 많이 두다 보니 이 이유에 중요성이 뭔지 잘 모를 뿐만 아니라 이 에세이의 주제가 뭐지 라는 생각을 들게 합니다. 따라서 예시 중점인 에세이를 서술하는 것 보다 도 좀 더 이유에 대한 설명에 중점을 맞춰서 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |
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