▶ Your Answer :Students’ intellectual, social, personal development is highly
influenced by communication. With this understanding, I prefer classes where
the students do some of the talking rather than teachers lecture lecturing in class for
two reasons. This is because participating classes enables students to improve
class concentration and to strengthen strengthens relationships with friends
First, participating class allows students to improve class
concentration. Understanding the importance of class concentration and
potential role of class with talking is necessary to substantiate this view.
Lesson with talking encourages students to discuss with different friends with different
thinking to enhance concentration in lesson. For example, in the lesson, most
students discussed discuss with their friends and should listen to friends claim in
order to answer peers opinion. And, they prepared and studied material to have
good discussion therefore, this class method plays an important role in
concentrating in class and they have a longer attention span during lesson. On the
other hand, only giving teachers lecture in class without communication feel
lesson boring. Because students just took a note and listened to teachers talking
over other thinking, which reduce class concentration. In this regard, if
students did only listen to teachers lecture would not effective improve class
concentration.
Second, joining in class promotes students to strengthen
relationships with friends. In response to the increasing role of participation
class, many expert opinion and research statistics reinforce the idea that
joining in class provides meaningful opportunities for students to connect with
their friends. Essentially, discussion class with having right to speak
promotes activities that encourage students to openly interact with one
another. Such intercommunication builds a platform not only to mingle with
friends but also create lasting memories. On the other hand, only giving
teachers lecture in class without talking have no chance to share their opinion
and interact with friends. In this regard, if students did just listen to
teachers lecture, they would not become more socially aware and ultimately strengthen
relationships with peers. (이 구체적인 설명에 대하여서 예시가 필요한 거 같습니다)
To sum up, I prefer classes where the students do some of the
talking rather than teachers lecturing in class for the following reasons: to improve
class concentration and to strengthen relationships with friends. Consequently,
the importance of my view cannot be underestimated for the reasons I mentioned
above. Good: 24~30 점수: 24 문법적으로 문제가 되는 부분이 있습니다. 이러한 부분들을 고쳐 주시길 바랍니다. 또 다른 아쉬운 점은 두 번째 바디에서 예시가 필요 할 거 같아요. 구체적인 설명은 잘 서술하였지만 그 설명을 서포트 해줄 수 있는 예시가 필요한 에세이 인거 같아요. 이러한 부분들 이외에는 문제 되는 것이 없는 에세이 입니다. 수고많으셨습니다 |