▶ Your Answer : Certainly, making a decision plays a significant role in people’s daily lives where they work or play. Some people think that we should think carefully when making an important decision, while others or not. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If I had to choose one, I would say that we should take time to think it through when we make an important decision. There are several reasons as follows. To begin with, when people make an important decision after much consideration, it will help them cultivate important qualities needed for success. Such thought requires students to be diligent, patient, self-disciplined. When these personal traits are developed, it is likely to bring a better result in school. For example, my youngest brother did poorly in high school. He got acted on impulse, distracted easily, and procrastinated. However, he has changed little by little changed gradually after he began to make his decision carefully by planning his own study schedule efficiently with his teacher in high school. He realized that his much consideration helped him study better, while his laziness and improvising could negatively affect everything. Thanks to his such consideration, he started to maintain a good behavior by raising his grades in school. He showed characteristics of a longer attention span, a stronger passion in his tasks, and a better ability to delay gratification. He was able to excel all throughout high school and received straight A’s in his classes. Without thinking carefully, he would have fallen behind. Also, Furthermore making a cautious decision enables people to feel a greater sense of achievement. It gives them a chance to improve their knowledge and thus feel confident themselves by thinking what the best choice is accurately. High confidence tends to prevent them from feeling inferior to others. For instance, when my sister was in high school, she often felt depressed thinking that her life became an exhausting routine. To survive in a competitive world, she spent the whole day studying all academic subjects, hoping that she could outdo others. Although she made constant effort, it was not easy because everyone was working as hard as she was. Fortunately, she was able to make her life more meaningful by deciding her university cautiously. Her math teacher encouraged her to think about her dream carefully and specifically. She started to persue pursue her own future dream, a math teacher, and enjoy studying. It made her win the mathematics contest. She received 1,000 dollars in prize money. With the money, she was able to buy what she wanted ranging from school supplies to gifts for her parents and brother. Also, after winning the competition, she was able to see positive results she contributed to. Many people around her started to respect her, allowing her to be confident, optimistic and strong. If she had not made her decision about her future major, she wold not have been able to win the prize.
All things considered, I strongly believe that the advantages of much consideration in making an important decision far outweigh its disadvantages. All in all, the importance of careful thought cannot be overestimated in our daily lives. Fair: 17~23 점수: 23 일단 제가 첨에 딱 이 에세이를 보고 느낀 것은 에세이가 너무 장황합니다. 각 바디에 대한 설명이 너무 깁니다. 특히 예시가 가장 긴거 같습니다. 예시를 길게 서술하는 것 보다는 간결하게 서술하는 것 이 가장 좋은 거 같습니다. 예시에 중점을 두는 것 보다는 구체적인 설명에 초점을 주는 것이 더 좋을 거 같습니다. 이유는 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요한 부분은 얼마나 자신의 의견을 상대방에게 잘 전달하냐 입니다. 따라서 예시를 간결하게 서술하고 설명에 초점을 두는 것이 좋은 점수를 받는데에 있어 더 좋을 거 같습니다. 수고많으셧습니다. |