▶ Your Answer :
Many people think that the best movie in
their life gave them a lesson related to their real life. On the other hand, I
disagree with that statement because of several reasons what make me watch
movies. for the following two subsequent reasons.
First of all, in my opinion, movie should
give me a feeling like amusement or thrill and it doesn’t have to make relation
with my real life. Because I can relieve stress and enjoy the moment without
thinking what should I do after watching them movies should not be related to seriousness as it has medium to give joy for people to relieve stresses accumulated from daily life. It is really important because
there are no contents that has function like this. For example, when I saw the
movie Inception, which is a science fiction and have no reality, made me feel
better I felt better as I could forget about my worries. Although I had exam after I watched the movie, but I wasn’t nervous.
Therefore I could concentrate on the exam fully after feeling comfortable. I was not nervous (독립형 에세이에서는 줄인말을 서술하면 안됩니다)
Second, there are lots of things which can give
me a lesson there are alternatives way to acquire life lesson. Thus we don’t have to focus on the lesson after watching movies Movies should not focus on conveying reality.
To be specific, when I read books related my depression, I think about what
things I should do to feel satisfied after doing my best. For instance, compared
to movie in comparison to the movie, reading books make me imagine the picture in particular situation
based on my own experience makes me imagine the reality (ing뒤는 항상 단수 동사 입니다). There are big differences between movies and books.
Only watching movies make me fully excited and concentrate images and music. It
is true that there are some movies related to lessons which can make me ponder
about story in philosophical view point. But I think most of movies I watched
intended to make me excited rather than to give me a massage to think about and
I felt good.
To sum up, I think, movie doesn’t have to
teach me or provide topics related to my real life. Its role is just make me
satisfied with the story and feel comfortable after watching them rather than
feel confused.
점수: 22 일단 지금 이 에세이는 두 가지 부분에 있어서 오류를 범하고 있는 독립형 에세이입니다. 먼저 첫 번째 부분은 어색한 표현들이 많습니다. 이러한 어색한 표현들은 에세이로 하여금 플로우를 방해하기 때문에 제가 지적한 부분을 숙지하면서 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 두 번째는 두 번째 단락 이유가 주제를 벗어났습니다. 이유를 선정할 때 항상 주제와 연관을 지으면서 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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