▶ Your Answer :
Some people might think that when people consider a major purchase, advertises from celebrities or magazines have the greatest impact on their choices. However, I personally disagree with the above idea for the two subsequent reasons. First, review communities have more honesty facts than other advertisements. Second, lots of reviews help people make a much reasonable decision (이미 밑에서 이유들을 다 서술할 것이기 때문에 인트로를 장황하게 서술할 필요가 없습니다).
To begin with, real reviews are (동사가 없습니다) more trustworthy. People write information about products after they use them, so there are a lot of realistic opinions for products. Therefore, people can choose option more precisely. According to a recent study done by 64D institute, 80% of the respondents said that they most satisfied when they bought some products through review communities than purchase products from other portals.The respondents states respondents state (respondents는 복수 주어 입니다) that communities told people not only advantages, but also it’s actual flaws , so they less disappointed after using the products. Without reading amount of diverse honesty reviews, they would have disappointed and regretted it. Thanks to many reviews, however, they were able to make a resonable decision.
On top of that, lots of diverse opinions allow people to compare many things and find more adequate (one’s particular taste, more suited, personal preference) goods. Only one thought that from friends, or celebrities and magazines are subjective(it could be biased, were exaggerated). Therefore, it might be hard to compare with other different things. Let me bring up my personal story as an example. When For example, when (let me bring up~같은 표현은 구어체이기 때문에 적절하지 않습니다) I was trying to purchase cosmetics, my best friend simply recommended the CC foundation which was most popular among her friends. I bought and used it, but soon, I honestly disappointed since it triggered some troubles on my face, personally not suited for me. Then, I realized that it not always work does not always work well even if has good reputations from other people. In conclusion, finding different reviews from different people can help one discover well suited products.
To sum up, review communities has have (communities는 복수 주어 입니다) frank opinions so it is unlikely to make fault decision. Moreover, diverse people’s reviews enable people to compare reasonably. In this regard, I firmly believe that review communities have greatest impact on people’s choices.
점수: 22 일단 지금 이 에세이는 불필요한 부연 설명들이 많습니다. 이러한 부연 설명들은 에세이로 하여금 플로우를 장황하게 만듭니다. 플로우가 장황하게 되면 무엇을 말하려고 하는 것인지 파악하기가 어려워지기 때문에 좀 더 간결하게 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 또한 단수 복수 주어에 따른 동사 문제들이 있습니다 제가 지적한 부분을 숙지하면서 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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