■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words.
■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
▶ Topic : . Colleges and universities must do a better job prepare for students’ workplace. -> Agree
▶ Your Answer :
There have been many dissenters to the view that job preparing for undergraduate students should be required to colleges and universities. However in my opinion, in these days, education related to getting jobs is one of the requisites in universities. There is one main reason that the motivation of entering colleges and universities has been changed.
Unlike the past, most students decide to enter a college to get a job in present. In the past, universities and colleges were regarded as educational institutions where students can learn more sophisticated knowledge about their interested subjects. However, in these days, they are not only the place to develop their student’s intelligence but also one of the required stages for students to have nice careers. For example, there was a poll conducted by the Board of Education with 1000 college students as respondents. The purpose of the survey was to understand the consensus about the reason why college students try to enter colleges or universities in today’s society. The majority of respondents ranked ‘the ease of getting jobs’ over ‘interest to developed subjects.’ The reason were mainly concerned with the asking from a lot of companies that their potential employee must have university graduate certificate. This survey proves that people
see utilizing college education as one of their specifications to gain their careers.
To sum up, since a lot of students in modern society come to colleges and universities hoping that it would be helpful to get their dream career universities and colleges should meet their expectation by presenting better job preparations. In this regard, I firmly hold that job preparing in colleges and universities is no more their elective but one of the prerequisites.
우선 주장이나 이에 대한 supporting detail은 괜찮은 편입니다
다만 이유를 설명하는 body paragraph가 한개밖에 없고, 주장도 한개밖에 없어 내용적으로
아쉬움이 조금 큰 것 같습니다. 다음번엔 at least 2 body paragraph로 작성해주세요.
reason이 detail할 수록 에세이가 더 elaborate해 보입니다. 또, 어휘가 약간은 너무
기본적인 어휘 위주로 사용되다 보니 많이 아쉽습니다. 조금 더 다양하게 어휘 자유자재로
사용할 수 있도록 동의어/반의어 공부 더 해주세요