It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city |
People have their own idea about whether children should live in the country or not. Although some people may think that because of good environment – like fresh air, clear river and soil and so on – living of country is better than city’s living to children, I strongly believe in that city can more help to them any ways. Because there are everything that children want in city.
~idea~ -> ~opinions~ 아이디어는 그냥 제너럴적이게 '생각'이라는 뜻이구요, 오피니언은 조금 narrow down 시켜져서 어떤 구체적인 topic 에 대해 자신의 의견이라는 뜻입니다. ^^ 이 경우에는 오피니언이 조금 더 맞을 것 같아요.
~may~ -> ~might~ 이건 설명하기 참 뭐한데.. 영어가 조금 바뀌었다고 보시면 됩니다. 우리가 글 쓸때 사실 shall 보단 should 를 많이 쓰듯히요. 그렇다고 해서 may 가 might 의 과거형이라는 것은 아닙니다.
~living of country~ 설명이 없어도 무엇인지 아시겠죠? ~living in a country~ 마찬가지루 뒤에 ~city's living~ 보다는 ~living in a city~ 그리고 그 문장은 새로운 문장이어야 합니다. 왜냐하면 -(bar) 안에 들어있는 부속 설명 전의 문장하고 이어지지 않기 때문이죠. 떼주시구요, children 뒤에다 마침표 찍어주심 됩니다.
~believe in that city can more help to them any ways. Because there are everything that children want in city. ~ 여기서 많은 지적 들어갑니다. 사전에서 숙어로 ~believe in~을 보신 모양인데, 하나 충고 해드리자면 숙어만 달랑 보고 넘어가지 마시고 예문을 꼭 한번씩 읽으세요. 읽지 않으면 그 숙어를 어떻게 사용하는 것인지 끝까지 모르게 되실거에요. ^^; 어쨌든 ~believe in~ 에서 in 은 빼주세요. ~can more help~ 여기서 help 가 명사인지 동사인지 구별이 가질 않네요. 명사라면 ~can be more help~, 동사라면 more를 빼주십시오. 그리고 ~any ways~ 보다는 ~ in many ways~ 라고 해주세요.
Because!!! 우리나라 말과 같습니다!! 앞에 문장과 이어주셔야 합니다. because 가 앞에 들어가면 complete sentence 가 절대 아닙니다. A big city has many facilities for children. By using them, children can experience various cultures and learn about many things. As we know, there are appearing many institutions for them in countryside, but the number is so low and the quality is not good. Besides, there are little children, so the facilities are not almost used. In real, the schools for children in countryside -like elementary school, middle school and high school – they are abolished because of a lack of students. Therefore, these phenomenons can affect badly to develop of children. However, in a big city is not. For example, COEX in
In a big city, children get along with many people. Of course, there are many people in country, they almost work as farmer. However, there are many various people who are different from farmer, like teacher, singer, and writer and so on. Because of this, children can meet various people and learn new things. For instance, when the children meet the teacher, they can learn about way of study and when they meet the artist, they can experience taking a picture. By experiencing many activities, they can increase their creativity and have high level eyes. This is another way why I prefer the children’s living of city. Taking all of these into account, big city provides many cultural opportunities to children and many various people who help to them. Therefore, I can definitely say that there is nothing better than city life.
~who help to them~ -> ~who can be a help to them~
마치면서 하나 더 말씀을 드리자면, 새로운 문장 만드는 것을 두렵게 생각하지 마세요. 처음에 한문장 하시고 콤마로 문장 두개를 이어버리시면 안됍니다. ^^;
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