▶ Your Answer :
As everything in life is like a coin which has two different
sides, people should weigh pros and cons before jumping to conclusions. After
all, each and every question of topic requires careful deliberation in that
there is always multiple variables to a truth. Even though some adamantly say
that teachers should be firstly experts in their career before building
relationship with their students, I strongly think such opinion lacks coherence
to some extent. In my humble opinion, I believe that it is more important to
get close with their students than to gain high-quality knowledge in their
fields for following reasons.
First and foremost, few people would deny that the role of a teacher
is mainly offering knowledge to students and help them to completely figure out
the given concepts. Although the efficient amount of knowledge is needed to be
a teacher, how teachers convey the given concept is much more critical to
students’ education than how deeply they know about the concepts. To make my point
more thoroughly, I will take my personal experience in high school. My biology
teacher in high school got a master degree in his major and always payed lots of
time for researching his own study. However, since he was not good at teaching,
his reputation made from my peers was extremely bad and he eventually got the
lowest score on teacher evaluation from students. Therefore, the ability of
teachers highly depends on the ability of teaching rather than the amount of
knowledge they have.
On top of that, teachers can also benefits from their students if
they get well on with their students. As many people would know, it is not
always true that the amount of wisdom is proportional to the age. People in
older age are still able to learn the valuable lessons of various things from
the young. For example, high-tech products or specific news that the teachers
might not know how to deal with can be known with the help of their students.
By this, they can be adept at new skills and keep in step with the fast-changing
society.
In summation, it is virtually impossible to provide a completely
satisfying answer to the open-ended question. Although the jury may be out of
the given topic, we can come to a mutual agreement that teachers should put more weight
on relationship with their students than their amount of knowledge.
총평: 전반적으로 문장도 깔끔하고 잘 적어주신 편이긴 한데, 본론 두 문단 간 분량 차이가 조금 있는 편이므로 어느정도 조절을 해주시면 좋을 것 같아요. 문법의 경우는 관사 빼고 완벽했습니다. 사용된 단어도 적절하고 전반적으로 좋은 점수를 받을 수 있을 것으로 보입니다. 수고하셨습니다 :) |