▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that teachers should focus only on academic instructions, while other people think that differently. Both sides may have their own reasons ti to support their views, If I have to choose one, I would say that teachers should give their students advice not only about academic academics but also about extra curricular activities and practice advice. There are several reasons and examples as follow. First of all, a teacher’s main task is inducing students to become a mature person. Because the students have a variety of pursuits and interests, a teacher should offer diverse typed of advices. Especially, To educating educate a student who is good at physical, art, and music, is it it is better to give advice about extracurricular activities than give advice about academics. For example, when my brother was a middle school student, his teacher gave him advice about academics only. So my brother always had a lot of stress because he was interested in playing soccer. However, when he was a high school student, his teacher understood him and gave him advice about soccer competition and soccer club. As a result, he did not rebel to against the teachers and he became a more polite person. (논리적 비약이 좀 극단적인 것 같아요) On top of that, advice about other activities can make students make more effort and become responsible for studying. By offering lots of information about other activities, students can participate in the activities and they can relieve stress from studying. Also, they can get a new energy. Researchers performed a study with students who were learning a second language. Half of the students received advice about how to study the language. , however, On the other hand, the other half received advice about not only academics but also about other activities that help them relieve stress. The result was that, in general, learners who listened to information about other activities obtained higher scores in the class. And they said that the reason is that students can take a rest by doing activities.
예상점수: 23~26 총평: 전반적으로 글의 논리가 비약적인 부분이 많고 예시들이 빈약합니다. 말씀하시고자 하는 내용과 이유들은 모두 적절하나 조금 더 예시를 적절하게 풀어서 쓰시거나 어떤 점들이 이유에 적합한지를 조금 더 명확하게 써주셨으면 더 고득점이 가능했을 것 같아요. 문법적인 오류는 복수와 단수 그리고 관용구와 관련된 부분들이 있습니다. 이런 점만 유의하시면 더 높은 점수를 획득하실 수 있을 것 같아요. 수고 많으셨습니다. |