■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : The group is helped more by a person who is willing to do things that other members want than by a member who strongly insists on doing things in a different way from what other members want to be done in a group project. |
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▶ Your Answer :
Surely, group works play a important role in people's daily lives in many of the places where they work or play. Some people think that the group is helped more by a person who is willing to do things that other members want than by a member who strongly insists on doing things in a different way from what other members want to be done in a group project, while others think differently. (문장이 너무 깁니다. 중간에서 쪼개주세요.) If I have to choose one, I would say that it is more beneficial to work with a member who tends to do what other members want. There are several reasons as follows.
To begin with, working with someone who is likely to follow other member's opinion allows (주어 동사 불일치) all the group members to participate in their task happily. Working with others makes people get stressed easily because it is impossible that all the members have the same ideas and opinions on their tasks. When a conflict is occurred among the members it may require a lot of time to adjust their different ideas so it is very stressful to the members. Meanwhile, when working with a member who respects other member's ideas and follows them, other members can keep developing their own ideas without any distraction and thus they feel satisfied with being a member of the group. For example, Jack, one of my friends, is always loved by his classmates especially when they have to take in class including group works because Jack likes to listen to other members' ideas and help them develop their ideas by providing his own research on sad (sad라고 왜 쓰신건가요?) ideas. Last semester Jack spent many days in library to find research results and journals about negative influences of TV commercials because Jane suggested submitting a report about some bad sides of TV advertisement for their final group report for marketing class. All members focused on Jane's ideas without suggesting different opinions because of Jack's responses affected other members to think the subject suggested by Jane more positively. Without Jack's devotion, they would not have been able to submit a good report and get a good grade in the class. (Example이 약간 핀트가 나가 있습니다. by providing his own research 부분을 빼시는 것이 좋을 거 같고 jack 때문에 다른 사람들이 아이디어를 제시하지 않았다 이 부분도 너무 연결고리가 없어요.)
In conclusion, I strongly believe that working with a member who respects other member's ideas and follows them is better than working with a member who wants other members to follow his or her own ideas for the reasons I mentioned above. In this regard, the importance of the ability to listen and respect other's opinion cannot be overestimated in group work.
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1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. 철자 오류가 잦은 편입니다. 심한 감점의 요인이 될 수 있으니, 에세이 작성을 마치시고 꼼꼼히 검토해주세요.
+) 단어를 외우실 때 스펠링을 집중적으로 외워주세요.
3. 문법에서는 전치사 to 용법에 주의해주세요.
4. 토플 에세이의 기본적인 구성은 서론 - 본론 1 - 본론 2 - 결론입니다.
그런데 지금 본론 2가 빠져있는 것을 확인하실 수 있습니다.
다른 reason 하나를 더 써주시면 구조상으로 더 보기 좋은 에세이가 될 듯합니다.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*