■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : The condition of the environment will not get better in the coming
years.
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▶ Your Answer : For many years, people are (be동사 필요) concerned about environmental
problems such as global warming and pollution. Despite many countries’
efforts to recover the environment, still the earth is being contaminated constantly and
getting warmer every year. However, in my personal view, the environment will
improve in the future because of the scientific technology development and
effect of the internet.
First and foremost, the trial to recover the
environment will succeed later because of the advanced technology. Many
scientists and researchers in the world put a great amount of effort to find
the method which can prevent environmental problems. For many years, their
effort did not (줄임말 사용을 지양해주세요. 시제 -> 과거 시제) seem to work (seem to 동사원형 형태입니다) well. However, recently we can see the
significant development of technologies. For example, there are so many
Eco-friendly products released and the air filtering system also improved.
These changes influence positively on the environment. According to the study
from Harvard University, it mentions that the size of Ozone recovered slightly
because of the technology that replaces toxic materials which directly affect
Ozone. Ten (아라비아 숫자 사용을 지양해주세요) years ago, it was unable to reduce the detrimental gas that exudes
from vehicles. However, these days, hybrid and electronic cars replace gasoline
cars which emit harmful substances a great number of contamination.
On top
of that, the environment can recover soon because of the dispersal of the
internet. These days, the young generation can easily receive information from
mass media such as YouTube and internet news. Even trivial statements can be a
spark of global movement. Numerous environmentalists and organizations utilize
the internet to aware people raise awareness of the importance of protecting the earth.
Moreover, the internet news broadcast the situation of natural disaster and it
affects people to take seriously about environmental protection seriously. Before the
advent of the internet, most people were not (do 동사 x be 동사 o) aware of global warming because
only the experts know the serious situation. However, due to the internet, even
young students know about the situation and learn how to prevent global
warming. According to In the research conducted in the National Environment
Center, they compared (시제: 과거 시제) the citizens’ effort for environmental protection over the
last decade. Surprisingly, as the internet develops, over 90% of people began
to do the basic effort to protect the earth such as purchasing Eco-friendly
products and planting (동명사) trees. The researchers also find out that as the public
perception of the importance of environmental protection improved, the environment
recovered gradually.
To sum up, the internet affects people and changes (주어 동사 불일치) their
behavior. Moreover, the development of technology contributes to solving
environmental problems. In this regard, I certainly believe that the
environment will be enhanced soon. |
1. 사소한 문법 오류가 잦은 편입니다.
proof-reading을 꼼꼼하게 해주세요. |
2. Internet은 주로 대문자로 쓰는 편입니다. 대소문자 구분에 유의해주세요!
3. 이유 두 가지는 모두 합리적으로 잘
작성된 것 같습니다.
사례도 적절하게 잘 쓰였습니다.