▶ Your Answer :
It is debatable whether when people
consider a major purchase, which of the following has the greatest impact on
their choices (choices가 어떤거지요? 명확하게 세개의 초이스를 다 언급하는 것이 중요합니다). This is an intriguing question because it can be different
depending on the individual perspectives. In my opinion, however, I support
that recommendation from friends has the most powerful impact on people's
decisions.
Friend's To begin with, recommendation can affect people's purchase most because the
friends know them very well. To be
specific, having lived closely a long time, friends better understand and
deeply know each other. As a result, they know their friends' preference, styles,
and patterns of consumption. Therefore, they can give appropriate advice for
their friends. Their suggestions are likely to bring a better result. It's also
true that magazines and online communities have a lot of information. However, the advantages of friend's recommendation
far outweigh the advantages of the others concerning the fact that information
from magazines and online communities do not always match for people's personal
characteristics and situations. For example, when I was in freshman in university,
I had trouble with choosing new clothes. My clothes styles were always terrible
and out of date. Although I tried to search for Internet and fashion magazines,
I could not find how to wear clothes well. Since magazines only show
celebrities' clothes, which never fit my body. On top of that clothes reviewed
in online communities were very expensive for me and there are too much
advertisements in online. Therefore, I asked my friends for shopping together.
They gave me a lot of tips on how to choose clothes which fit my body structure
and how to buy the cheapest clothes. Thanks to them, I could buy best clothes
for me and save a lot of money. This is because they know my budget and expense
as well as my weight and height.
In
conclusion, I firmly believe that people are affected by their friends more and
better when it comes to a major purchase.
All things considered, it is my belief that my argument regarding this
topic can be effectively and precisely delivered with the reasons mentioned
above. Fair: 17~23 점수: 20 너무나 장황스럽습니다. 한 단락에 너무나 많은 정보를 넣으려고 했습니다. 이렇게 많은 정보를 넣는 것 보다 더 중요한 것은 간결하게 자신의 의견을 상대방에게 설명하거나 설득 하는 것 입니다. 지금 이 에세이는 이러한 면에 서 많이 부족한거 같습니다. 이러한 부분들을 보안 하기 위해서는 좀 더 구체적으로 두 개 이상의 이유를 서술하시는 것이 좋습니다. 그렇게 되면 장황한 문제들도 없어지게 되고 좀 더 설득력이 있는 에세이가 될 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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