▶ Your Answer : Some people think that people should sometimes do thing that they enjoy doing. However, people’s intellectual, social, and personal development is highly influenced by doing things that people do not enjoy doing. With this understanding, I believe that people should sometimes do things that they do not enjoy doing for the following subsequent reasons.
First, things that they do not enjoy doing enable people to broaden perspectives. Understanding the importance of new experience and the potential role of accepting different cultural values is necessary to substantiate this view. For example,
things called new experience enable people to visit foreign countries to broaden perspectives through traveling. If people do not enjoy traveling, I totally recommend people to travel abroad. Traveling to new destination means opportunities to learn new ideas, because what is commonly accepted as the cultural, social norm at home may not be the case in other cultures. Being ables to sift perspectives helps to relate better to those from different cultural values. In this regard, things that they do not enjoy doing enable people to broaden perspectives.
Second, things that they do not enjoy doing enable people to enjoy a better quality of life. In response to the increasing role of new experience, many experts opinions and research statistics reinforce the idea that things that they do not enjoy doing enables people to relieve stress. According to the research from experts, people tend to relieve stress through things that do not enjoy doing. Every morning, people have to sit through traffic to get to work. Once they are at work, they have to endure countless documents and continue to read more even at home. Such exhausting routine repeats itself and eventually wears down people. By doing things that they have not try, they can forget about daily routine and refresh themselves. As a way to mange the ensuing stress, people need to sometimes do things that they do not enjoy doing and ultimately enjoy a better quality of life.
To sum up, I believe that people should sometimes do things that they do not enjoy doing for following reasons: to broaden perspectives and enjoy a better quality of life. Consequently, the importance of my view cannot be underestimated for the reasons that I have stated above.
점수: 27 지적할 부분이 없는 독립형 에세이입니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요한 부분을 차지하는 것은 설득력 입니다. 지금 이 에세이 같은 경우는 설득력 부분에 있어서 문제가 없습니다. 각 단락들의 구체적 설명과 적절한 예시를 통하여서 사람들이 자기가 좋아하는 것에 중점을 두어야 하는 것인지를 잘 설명해 주는 거 같습니다. 각 단락들이 논리정연하게 자신의 주장을 잘 보여주는 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
|