■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic :Your government has announced that it wishes to build a social house near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community.
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▶ Your Answer :It is debatable whether governments should actively regulate environmental problems rather than individuals. This is an intriguing question because opinion concerning this issue can be different depending on individual perspectives. In my opinion, however, I support that regulating environmental problems should be mostly authorized by governments for the two following reasons.
First of all, when individuals participate in regulating environmental problems they can be easily corrupted. This is because an individual can take advantage of avoiding rules that have been made to regulate environmental damages. On the other hand, governments can regulate individuals by forcing them by their authority and make the situation much better. Comparing individuals to governments, it is clear that governments are much more reliable than individuals. For example, when I was attending a university, I participated in a picnic that was held by the university. When the festival had ended, the trashes such as coke cans and snack bags were abandoned on the ground despite the fact that there was an announcement representing that "don't throw away trashes". It is a clear example that represents the lack of reliability of individuals. On the other hand, another festival that government authoritatively regulated manner policies had ended very cleanly. Second, governments can regulate big scale environmental problems while individuals cannot (줄임말 사용을 지양해주세요). Governments can investigate dangerous areas such as extremely corrupt areas and very enormous areas. It reveals that governments are much more suitable for environmental problems. For instance, governments achieved much more accomplishments than individuals in protecting environments as well as restoring environments. Governments investigated large areas of Amazon, and they were able to set a plan to protect Amazon from unknown threats. It is impossible things for individuals to carry out. In conclusion, it seems to me that governments have crucial roles to solve environmental problems. Environmental problems are too difficult for individuals. Thus, environmental problems should be focused on by governments rather than individuals. |
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1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. topic을 맞게 쓰신 것이 맞나요?
topic과 내용이 너무 달라서 만약 토픽에 맞게 쓰신거면 이 에세이는 off-topic입니다.
3. 두 번째 문단은 appeal to authority에 지나지 않습니다.
구체적으로 왜 government가 더 나은지 (더 많은 자본, 인력 등)
설명해주세요.
단순히 government가 더 낫고 뭘 더 많이 해서 좋다! 는 논리적이지 못합니다.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*