▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, online classes play a significant role in people’s daily lives in many of the places where they work or play. Some people think online classes offer more advantages and benefits than traditional classes on campus, while others do not. think differently Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that traditional classes on campus are better than online classes. There are several reasons as follows for the following two subsequent reasons. .
To begin with, traditional classes on campus help students cultivate important qualities needed for success. Going campus for firsthand classes requires them to be diligent, passionate, and self-disciplined. When these personal traits are developed, it is likely to bring a better result in school brings about better result in the performance at school. For example, John, one of my friends, did poorly in university. He got distracted easily, procrastinated, and acted on impulse. However, he has changed little by little gradually after he began to attend traditional classes on time. He realized that this active participation at university helped him mingle well with others, while his laziness could negatively affect everyone. Thanks to his active participation, he started to maintain good behavior by raising his grades in school. He showed characteristics of a longer attention span, a stronger passion in his tasks, and a better ability to delay gratification. He was able to excel all throughout university and received straight A’s in his classes.
In addition, by going to university and taking classes directly, they can mingle well with people from different backgrounds. It exposes them to different values, customs, and cultures. Such exposure is likely to help them to acknowledge that different values exist, to understand this diversity, and ultimately be comfortable with it. helps them to acknowledge the different culture. For example, many research teams, including Tokyo Research Center, analyzed data from two groups of students. One group consisted of those who only take traditional classes on campus and the other group was made up of those who only take online classes. The researchers found that the former was more likely to have a higher level of open-mindedness than the latter. In particular, the first group respected foreigners, befriended them and treated equally. On the other hand, the second group tended to ignore foreigners, single them out and discriminate against them. This implies that taking firsthand classes on campus can expand their horizons on a global level.
All things considered, I strongly believe that the advantages of taking traditional classes on campus far outweigh those of taking online classes for the reasons I have mentioned above. All in all, the importance of taking firsthand classes on campus cannot be overestimated.
점수: 25 지금 이 에세이가 가지고 있는 문제점은 너무 장황합니다. 전체적인 에세이 자체가 너무 장황하다 보니 본레 자기가 전달하려고 했던 의미들이 변질되게 됩니다. 의미가 변질되다 보면 본레 자기가 전달하려고 했던 의미들이 변질되기 때문에 좀 더 간결하게 서술하시길 바랍니다. 지금 이 에세이는 간결하게만 서술하게 된다면 완벽한 에세이가 될 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |