■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : Great artists are more influential on and beneficial to society than politicians. |
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▶ Your Answer :
Some people take it for granted that great artists can be more influential on or beneficial to society than politicians. However, contrary to this idea, it is clear that it is the politicians who actually change our life, not the artists even if they are enormously renowned by their fair works. The rationale behind this is that laws or policies bring actual change in our daily lives and common people usually do not have much interests in art. First of all, laws or policies made by politicians are the ones which make our real lives. In our daily life, all things were constructed or regulated by the rules. These rules can be updated or removed by the politicians whose duty is to (to 부정사 용법입니다) let people have better lifestyle. Besides, what artists do is on beyond real, those are located in another dimension which is not actually exist actually does not exist. Even if artists can evoke some social issues by their work, what brings the issues in our life must be done by the authorities. For example, Picasso painted how painful the Korean war was to make people be aware of the flaws of the war, but it was the politicians who stopped the war. In addition, common people prefer dealing with politics, not arts. Social medias such as television news or SNS usually focus on what politicians are doing or how they take their works, not what artists paint or what the paintings means (주어 동사 일치). It is because people want to know more about politics than field of the art. Even it is hard for people to enjoy fine art that it needs a lot of studying. For example, people are well aware of who is the president now and what he or she is doing these days but they are lack of information about who the leader of the field of the art is (의문문이 아닌 문장에 의문사가 수식하는 아이로 쓰일 때에는 who is the leader이 아닌 who the leader 식으로 포지션을 교차하여 작성합니다) today or what they are painting right now. All things considered, the work of the politicians have much more power than those of the artists’. The reason is that people care about daily life made by the law and the policy and they are not familiar with the term of the art. |
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점수: 24/30
1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. conclusion의 분량을 3문장 이상으로 늘려주세요.
3. 문법에서는 단수/복수를 확실하게 써주시는 연습을 하시면 좋을 것 같습니다.
4. 구조, 내용은 좋습니다~!
수고하셨습니다. *^^*