▶ Your Answer :
Some people might think that the most concerned factor when it comes to getting a job is the income that you can get there people get (독립형 에세이에서는 you를 사용하면 안됩니다). However, in my opinion, I strongly believe that the most valuable condition when you choose the job is not the money but the people who work with you. I'll give two reasons supporting my argument. is people who work with for the following two subsequent reasons.
To begin with, the satisfaction of the money that you earn is actually limited. If you make the money over a certain amount of it, the happiness is no longer increased. We just need the minimal amount of money that we can put the bread on the table and we can actualize our identity through cultural life like playing baseball or drawing something. This thing doesn't need lots of money. So it isn't reasonable that the money became a major factor to determine the job. There was a survey conducted by a group of professor majoring in Economics, with 200 workers as respondents. The purpose of the study was to figure out how much money affect your job choice. What they found was extremely intriguing. The amount of the money that they replied was surprisingly low than we've thought.
On top of that, the relationship between the people while working is the most essential factor when dealing with the choice of job. Basically, the working time takes about one-third a day on average. It means that if you do feel distressed during the working time, your entire quality of life is bound to mess up. I'll take my personal experience as an example to clarify what I mean. Last semester, I worked in the postal office in my University. There, the person with red hair always teased me using minimal things. I reminded myself tons of times that subduing opponent people without fighting is the acme of the skill. So I decided to endure the moments. I just found myself spending the time with tenebrious complexion and can't do anything. After 2 months, I finally quit the job even if I got a lot of money.
Taking the minimal amount of money that you are satisfied and the big portion of working time in a day into consideration, I firmly believe that the most considered factor as far as job choice concerned is the people who work with you, not money.
Fair: 17~23 점수: 22 일단 에세이를 서술하 실 때 주의 하셔야 할 점이 두 가지가 있습니다. 먼저 첫 번째는 에세이 형태에서는 you를 서술하면 안됩니다. 이인칭 주어를 서술하는 것 보다는 삼인칭 주어로 에세이를 서술하는 것이 훨신 좋습니다. 또한 줄인말을 서술하면 안됩니다. 이러한 두 부분들을 주의하면서 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 따른 것들은 설명이 좀 부족한거 같습니다. 자신의 이유에 대한 구체적인 설명을 더 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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