▶ Your Answer : Some people think that the internet is not helpful to get useful information. In my opinion, however, the internet is a good way to get useful information for the following two benefits.
To begin with, the internet make makes (internet은 단수 주어 입니다) a connection with each other. We can share each ideas through the internet. The internet caused more effective way to making idea, even policies. For example, in Korea, citizens can give their ideas to the government through the internet. So the government can make a policy more practical.
On top of that We can save time and money. we don't have to go to specialized place. we can save time and money by not going to specialized space. For example, if we want to know about art, we should go to museum in the past. But nowadays we can see the classic art through one click. And although you are not a student who are at the Harvard university, you can enter the library of harvard university through the internet.
To sum up, the Internet make a communication and spare time and money. In this regard, I agree that the internet is a helpful to get useful information.
점수: 22 전체적으로 내용면에 있어서 빈약함이 많이 보여지는 독립형 에세이입니다. 내용 자체가 빈약하다 보니 각 단락들을 통하여서 무엇을 말하려고 하는 것인지 파악하기가 어렵습니다. 지금 이 에세이에서 필요한 것은 좀 더 구체적으로 자신의 주장을 전달하는 것 입니다. 숙지하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |