▶ Your Answer : In the reading passage, there is ample support for the author’s claim that there are possible causes reasons why whales are stranded. However, the professor in the lecture gives several reasons (points 명사 반복 피하기 위해 수정하였습니다) as rebuttal to the author’s point (argument 명사 반복 피하기 위해 수정하였습니다). First, the professor contends that it is highly doubtful that wind patterns brings about whales stranding. The professor put gives an example to contradict it. There are many areas where whales stranding happens, but the wind patterns are different in each region which flow there are even the other way but the wind patterns are different in each region. This refutes the reading passage’s suggestion that wind flow carry foods and following the foods (어색한 문장입니다) - specific wind patterns make, whales to end up stranded. Next, the professor argues that it is not plausible that sick whales get stranded are strained. The professor says that there are some healthy whales founded near the beach. To support, this, the professor explains that when people push stranded whales back to the ocean, sometimes, they can see the whales swimming back on their own. (이 부분에 대한 설명을 해주는 문장을 하나만 추가해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다 - This shows that even healthy whales which are capable of moving and swimming, get themselves stranded.) This counters the reading passage’s assertion that whales are pushed by waves and stranded since they are too weak to resist (resist what? 목적어가 필요합니다). Finally, the professor insists that it cannot be one of the reasons (문장을 조금 지저분하게 만드는 것 같아요) that whales get too closer to shore with a lack of navigating ability when they face gentle slope (조금 더 명확한 설명이 필요합니다 - the professor insists that geological features do not cause whales to strand). It is because that, if this is correct it is right, all whales must be stranded, but only some whales swim too close to the beaches. This also casts doubt on the reading passage’s idea that whales get stranded when they are near slow slopes (조금 어색한 표현입니다) because noises they make are not reflected by a slow slope and they end up being lost. 17mins 255 words.
Score: 15-16 Comments: - 전체적으로 구조가 잘 잡혀있습니다. - 주요 포인트를 장 정리해주셨습니다. - 그러나 구조가 복잡하고 지저분한 문장들이 많고 어색한 표현들이 있습니다. - 다소 informal한 느낌이 있습니다. - if this is right, all whales must be stranded, but only some whales swim close to the beaches - 스피킹 느낌이 강한 문장이에요 - This is because not all whales get stranded, 이런식으로 써주시면 좋겠습니다. - 문법 실수가 있습니다. (복수+동사원형, 단수+동사 뒤 s)와 같이 기초 문법에서의 실수가 반복될 경우 큰 감점 요소가 될 수 있습니다.
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