▶ Your Answer :
Environment are directly connected with people's health. (Your opinion s better not to be suggested in the first place) Hence, preserving it with a great form cannot be stressed enough. Also, since companies in modern society have great social impacts as well as responsibilities. Itis their duty to protect the legacy of the nature. I will explore my points more in detail in the following essay. In contrary, the arts can be facilitated by several other way, other than company's supports.
First of all, a company should support nature because it is directly related with people's health and quality of their life. In other words, once the natural segment get damaged by company's wrong deeds, innocent citizens' are the one who suffer from it. In addition, the damages in the nature is irretrievable. Contrary, Thus, if the company can manage and protect the nature properly, people's health and satisfaction level would be enhanced. Compared to the company which support the arts, the company which support nature is doing more important job for general public, as well as our future generation. According to the research, company which invest in the way to preserve the nature has better output, and achieved higher public goods, compared to any other type of companies. For example, 'Green Energy' which is ,the company which produces an eco-friendly office products, and supports the nature turned out to be the leading organization in the facility. Plus, they got positive feedback in various sectoral qualificatiom which gives competitive impression to the customers. In short, protection the environment is good for everyone.
Second, protecting an environment is not only a good behavior for the company, but also it is a responsibility for them. As enterprises are getting bigger and bigger, and gaining more influences on people's life, the expected social responsibility of the company have become much more important. Preserving an environment is one of them. For example, the company which throws some garbage or exploits natural resource immoderately would receive a great deal of social opposition, which put the company into the danger. Unlike promoting the arts, this is the minium thing required to the social entity. (Unclear meaning) For instance, public tend to blames who causes the damage rather than not increasing a welfare. (So that?)
For these reasons, I firmly believe that supporting the environment as a company is important than any other field. It would finally turned out to be helpful in people's health and life as well as preventing social opposition toward the company.
| 채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 2 | Score | Limited 15-18 | - 어떤 부분에서는 문장을 잘표현하신 반면, 어떤 부분에서는 기본문법이 잘못된 부분이 보이네요. Writer's English Proficiency Level을 가늠하기 힘든데, 아무래도 기초적인 부분에서 잘못배우시고, 바로 상급으로 올라가신 것 같아요. 기본적인 문법정리가 필요합니다.
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