▶ Your Answer : Some might say that people can not deal with their problem without government’s help while others think differently. both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that people can resolve their own questions by themselves, so that they do not need assistance of the country for the following two subsequent reasons. for the following two subsequent reasons. To begin with, as the Internet is spread out through the world, people could reach countless amount of information easily. People can ask a lot of others in the Internet about solution of their own problem anytime. For example, When a freshman, I was given an assignment which is required to do investigate with the team. However, one of my group seemed to try to be a free rider. He usually did not attend the team meeting, furthermore, we could not reach him on time. In order to fix it, I inquired of people in the online community about proper solution to this situation. As a result, I received a lot of advice seemed to be useful. Thanks to that means, we persuaded him into participate the team project actively. Consequently, our team got a good grade and he expressed his thanks. On top of that, children learn a lot through direct experiences, such as part-time job. having a part-time job will help them cultivate important qualities such as diligence, stubbornness and self-discipline. When these personal traits are developed,a person is likely to deal with any problem. For example, my youngest brother used to be lazy and he did not get up in the morning on time but also did not his homework at all. This gives rise to a poor grade in school. However, he has changed little by little after he started going to work at a convenience store on time. He realized that being diligent and stubborn is important things in life, while his laziness could negatively affect others as well as himself. Naturally, he maintained good behavior in school, resulting in increased grades. Without work experiences, He would be still lazy and fall behind.
In a nutshell, taking into account the way to settle a one’s problem through the Internet and own experience, I strongly believe that people can solve their trouble without help of government. All in all , this trend will be growing over time. Good: 24~30 점수: 27 지적할 부분이 없는 독립형 에세이입니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요한 부분을 차지하는 것 중에하나는 에세이가 얼마나 설득력이 있나 입니다. 지금 이 에세이 같은 경우는 군더더기 없이 자신의 의견을 아주 잘 표현 하고 있는 거 같습니다. 특히 자신이 무엇을 말하고 있는 지를 가장 잘 알고 있는 거 같습니다. 이 에세이에서 좋은 점은 구체적인 설명과 적절한 예시 사용인거 같습니다. 계속해서 이렇게 서술하다 보면 원하는 점수를 얻을 수 있을 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |