▶ Your Answer : There might be some people who believe that building house for homeless and doing house chores for elders are helpful for college students. However, I think joining a club that to help read books and teach math elementary school students are beneficial for college students. The concepts of health and career clearly show the theme. elementary students to read books and teach math is beneficial for college students for the following two subsequent reasons.
First of all, making houses for homeless, and helping seniors who cannot walk well are too stressful. This is due to the fact that unlike teaching and helping elementary school kids, college students have to spend a lot of effort and time to join those kind of clubs. College students today are extremely busy due to excessive assignment. Therefore, if students spend a lot of time to build houses or to do seniors' house chore, they will feel like it is a waste of time and become unhappy. This situation will stress students out. In fact, stress is one of the primary factors of illnesses because it weakens the ability of immune system in fighting diseases. For example, my uncle, a doctor in a general hospital in a city, tells me that many of his patients, especially college students, suffer adverse health effective from stress. They come to him for stress-relative ailments and disorders such as headaches, and insomnia. He found the relationship between stress and human diseases. Therefore, it is healthy not to join helping homeless and senior.
In addition, helping elementary school kids is helpful for college students' career. This is mainly because if they join a children-relative club, they can develop the ability of speak, and cooperate. As modern society has become increasingly specialized, today's companies are looking for employees having such qualities. Therefore, this is important to fight for a job in highly competitive labor market. For instance, my father, a CEO of a company in Korea, often tells me that a job interview typically precedes to hiring decision. He and other interviewers at the interview mainly look at the applicants' passion and cooperative skills and speaking skills. In this sense, joining a teaching-children club is a sure way for college students to prepare for the future.
In conclusion, it seems me that spending time to help children read and study math is beneficial for college students. The examples of health and career support the argument.
Good: 24`30 점수: 26 일단 이 에세이를 통해서 왜 대학교 학생들이 노숙자들이나 집이 없는 사람들을 도와주는 것 보다는 초등학교 학생들에게 좋은 정보들을 가르쳐야 하는 지를 잘 보여주는 에세이인 거 같습니다. 이러한 부분은 독립형 에세이에서 아주 중요하게 적용합니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요하게 보는 것이 에세이가 얼마나 설득력이 있나 인데. 지금 이 에세이는 알찬 구성과 구체적인 설명을 통해 잘 설명하고 있는 거 같습니다. 수고많으셧습니다. |