▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, television shows and movies play significant role people's daily lives. Some people think that good characters should be rewarded while bad ones are punished, while others think differently. If I had to choose one, I would say that it is more beneficial for viewers when good characters are rewarded and bad ones are punished. There are several reasons as follows. for the following two subsequent reasons.
To begin with, movies and television can be more beneficial when they treat good characters with rewards because it can teach people important lessons in life. Good characters tend to have important qualities in life such as abiding by rules and respecting others. When people learn those lessons from them, they are likely to realize that it brings about a better result in life (아쉬운 부분은 better result가 무엇인지를 설명을 안했습니다. 설명을 해주는 것이 더 좋을 거 같습니다). For example, my younger brother used to be lazy and selfish when he was in elementary school. He often lied, procrastinated, and acted on impulse. However, he has changed little by little after his parents started to show him movies with good lessons. By watching them, he realized that he could be rewarded if he would be diligent and respect others. Naturally, he became prompt with time, played his part better, and even encouraged others to respect people around them. Without this experience, he would still have been lazy and selfish.
On top of that, people can relieve their stress when they watch bad characters be punished. People tend to feel more sense of satisfaction when they see someone do what they cannot easily do in their life. For instance, when I was in high school, I often felt depressed thinking that my life became an exhausting routine. I had to spend the whole day studying all academic subject hoping to outdo others. Fortunately, I could deal with such pressure and stress in a safe way by speding my free time watching super hero movies. I got a vicarious thrill out of watching heroes punish the evil. By doing this, I was able to let off some steam. If I had not watched those movies, I would not have been able to escape my boring life.
All things considered, I strongly believe that good characters should be rewarded while bad characters should be punished in television and movies for the reasons I have mentioned above. All in all, the importance of good lessons in movies cannot be overestimated.
good: 24~30 점수: 25 약간의 문법적 오류들이 보입니다. 특히 철자적 오류들이 보이는데 제가 첨삭 한 것을 보시고 숙지하시길 바랍니다. 이러한 문법적 오류 이외에는 크게 문제가 없는 독립형 에세이인거 같습니다. 특히 간결하게 자신의 의견을 전달해 주고 있기 때문에 에세이가 전반적으로 아주 매끄럽고 논리적이게 풀어 나간 거 같습니다. 지적할 부분이 많이 없는 독립형 에세이인거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |