▶ Your Answer : Some people might say that students have to concentrate in their major classes. However, in my opinion, taking many different subjects class will be beneficial to students because of following two subsequent reasons. To begin with, in the current world, people are required to have a wide variety of knowledge rather than deep knowledge of the specific field. A person with diverse knowledge is regarded as 'a person of intellect', while others who lack knowledge are simply ignored. This is why students have to take classes of various subjects. For example, I will take my cousin and myself as examples. In my cousin's case, he loved his major, so he always study studied only his major during university years. When he graduated, he became a master of his major, but he did not know entirely except just one field. On the other hand, I was interested in a wide variety of subjects, so I had a took diverse classes. When we had a job interview, I was able to response respond to various questions but he could not reply aptly. so he did not get a good result. On top of that, we can meet a wide variety of people by taking a different subjects courses. students are very distinct from major to major. Each students of majors has enormously peculiarities and strengths. we can learn many advantages from them, and we can make up our fault and strengthen our advantages by watching them. For instance, my uncle was specialized in financial majors. He was enjoyed taking a other department's class. When he listened to computer engineering class, he meet persons people who has had different ideas to his with him. He was get got along with them during his university life. They were give gave and take took positive influences, and after graduating, they established an information technology company which make mobile banking applications. To sum up, taking consideration the possibilities of getting diverse knowledges and meeting diverse people, it is reasonable that taking a wide variety of classes is more beneficial.
예상 점수: 17-21 총평: 아쉬운점이 많은 에세이입니다. 우선 문법적으로 시제와 관련된 문제가 많습니다. 자꾸 시제를 통일 안하셔서 서술하시는데 분명히 과거에서 일어난 일은 과거시제를 써주세요. 또 한 was get, were give같은 표현은 잘못된 표현입니다. 명확히 got, gave같은 과거 동사를 사용해주세요. 내용은 조금 더 예시를 현실적이고 구체적으로 사용하셨으면 좋았을 것 같아요. 크게 문제는 없이 적합하게 서술하셨습니다. 수고 많으셨습니다.
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