▶ Your Answer :
Some people
might say that television has destroyed communication among friends and family.
However, I personally believe that television causes useful effects to the
human relationship for the following two reasons. To
begin with, television provides diverse information for interesting talking. To
be specific, people can talk about their memories of television show’s topic like
music audition, football games and e-sports. These examples can be a great
material of communication. People can take several groups that members have
same favor to discuss the same interests. For example, when I was a fresh man, I was interested in Korea
history. I used to watch television program named ‘The road of Korea’. By
watching this, I could get a lot of ideas of historical affairs. I wanted to
share my ideas. So, I entered a group of Korea history. In there, I could get
many friends and opportunities of communication. I strongly believe that this
helped me to broad sight about history. The base of my knowledge is watching
television.
On
top of that, television makes some opportunities for thinking social issues. To
be specific, in television news, people can get many problems of this society.
If they don’t watch the television, it is hard to get these kinds of information.
People who have concerning in social problems make civic group for dealing
with. By this, people can communicate with others about their thinking and make
the solutions for the problems. For example, when my sister was a high school student,
she watched a television program that revealed the destroying forest. She
wanted to get solutions and talked with her family and friends about that
topic. Also, she entered a civic group named ‘Green Peace’ and had a lot of
discussions. Finally, she provided the proposal for protecting forest to Korea
government. She says that she can start this communication by utilizing
television program.
To
sum up, watching television makes lots of topics for communication. Moreover,
people can talk about social problems by using television. In this regard,
television can offer good opportunities of communication.
점수: 26 잘 서술된 독립형 에세이인거 같습니다. 이 에세이를 통하여서 왜 사람들에게 티비가 좋은 적용을 하는 것인지를 알 수 있었떤 에세이엿습니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요한 부분을 차지하는 것 중에 하나는 설득력 입니다. 지금 이 에세이 같은 경우는 설득력 부분에 있어서는 완벽히 소화하면서 서술하는 것 같습니다. 각 단락들이 너무나 자연스럽고 논리적으로 이유를 풀어나가는 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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