▶ Your Answer :
Some people might think that the important
factors to be friends are smart or considerate person, whereas others think
differently. Both sides may have their ideas to support their view. I personally
prefer a person who is cheerful as a friend for the following two reasons.
To begin with, a cheerful person is easy to
hang around with. This is due to the fact that the The (this is due to the fact~표현은 적절치 않는 표현 입니다) sense of humor plays a big
role to attract people. Besides this types of sense lowers the barrier when you
meet a new person as well. According to the study done by the Micigan
University of Psychology Department, majority of the respondents said that the
most appealing element to be friends with is sense of humor. This research also
found out that this trait is considered to be the best to find a spouse as
well.
On top of that, to be a friend with a
cheerful personality makes you happy people can become happier (독립형 에세이에서는 you를 서술하면 안됩니다). Emotion is very influential so when you
are around with the happy and joyful person, you also become cheered
unconsciously. My personal experience is a compelling example of this. When I was college student, I was so stressed
out to preparing prepare for the bar exam. I had to dedicated dedicate (to 뒤에는 동사 원형 입니다) all myself to studying.
However one thing I did enjoy was meeting to meet my high school friend regularly. She
has always big smile on her face and makes me grin with her joke. Her trait of
cheerfulness have a great impact on me to be positive on the situation and I
also feel refreshed after that. Without
her back then, It would have been a lot more miserable time.
To sum up, It is always to be pleasant with
cheerful person and being with this person has a positive effect on you. In
this regard, I prefer have a friend who is cheerful to smart or considerate.
점수: 22 전체적으로 내용면에 있어서 빈약함이 많이 보여지는 독립형 에세이입니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요한 부분을 차지하는 것은 설득력 입니다. 하지만 지금 이 에세이 같은 경우는 각 단락들의 내용이 빈약하다 보니 무엇을 말하려고 하는 것인지 모르겠습니다. 따라서 지금 이 에세이에서 필요한 것은 좀 더 구체적으로 자신의 주장을 전달하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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