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Some people believe that fun activities or good friends to travel is more important factor to have enjoyable trip. However, in my opinion, I think that pleasant weather is the most significant factor to enjoy trip. This is because good weather enables people to travel more comfortable and to better see beautiful scenery.
To begin with, people can travel more easily when weather is pleasant. Of course, cloudy weather or rainy weather provide the appropriate atmosphere for some people;, however, the majority of people find such weather too harsh to travel and rather stressful. In contrast, people are more likely to travel without worry and do not want don‘t need to bring about an umbrella. According to a study conducted by Korea Travel Agency, only thirty percent to the surveyed people reported that they enjoyed rainy day when they trip because they could enjoy rainy sound while sitting at a foreign cafe and listening to music. On the contrary, more than sixty percent of the surveyed people responded that they they felt that they were more likely to enjoy their trip when weather was pleasant and sunny. The study also found that they wanted to travel trip the same region again because of their good weather. The study convincingly affirms that the appropriate climate provides people with easier access to many landmarks.
Moreover, pleasant weather makes people better sightsee. In general, cloudy weather hinders people from viewing background such as beautiful sea or mountain. However, appropriate weather makes the scenery more spectacular and nice and helps people remember continually. For example, when I was in high school, our school went to a field trip to Hanla Mountain in Jeju island in Korea. Unfortunately, when we visited there, it was rainy which caused there were some rainy, causing emotional stress to us. So our teachers decided to visit again the mountain to see spectacular scenery. So we had another chance to go there, and when we arrived there, we could see unprecedented view thanks to good weather. I think that it will be always in my memory. Based on my experience, we can draw the conclusion that good weather helps people not only view nice sceneray but also have good impression.
To summarize, good weather is one of the most important and critical factors for having an enjoyable trip. This is because the nice weather helps people have chance to visit more places and view more nice sceneray.
Fair (21-22) 서론 -수일치 good weather 단수 이므로 단수 동사
첫번째 본문 -, however, 로 문장 두개 이을 수 없습니다. 주어+동사; however, 주어+동사 로 해주세요. -문장에 주어 people만 있고 동사가 없습니다. 동사 are 추가해주세요. -축약형 지양해주세요. don't-->do not -우산을 들고 싶어하지 않는다 (want)가 문맥상 더 자연스러운 표현입니다. -어디에 라는 전치사 at 써주세요. -명사 앞에 관사 -~를 듣다 listen to ~ -trip 동사로 쓰지마세요. travel로 바꿔주세요. -마지막에 파란부분에서, easier access to many landmarks에 대한 설명이 본문에 없습니다. 이 부분을 삭제하시거나 이 부분에 대한 설명을 해주세요.
두번째 본문 -문법/표현 오류 rainy는 형용사로, some rainy는 어떤 비오는 에서 해석이 끝납니다. 뒤에 명사 필요. 따라서 본문에 바꾼것처럼 바꾸거나, there were some rainy days, ~로 써주세요. -또다른 기회라는 의미를 넣어주셔야 내용이해가 용이합니다. -좋은 날씨 덕에 좋은 뷰를 봤다를 넣어주셔야 토픽에 더 연결이 됩니다. 이유/설명은 괜찮으나 내용상 보충할 부분 있습니다. 문법 연습 많이 해주세요.
수고하셨습니다~~
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