▶ Your Answer : Opinions might be divided what is the most important factor for having an enjoyable trip. People from different walks of life may have different stances on this issue. Personally, I believe that pleasant weather is a significant factor for getting a favorable trip. And there are two reasons that could validate my position.
The first point is that weather influences people's health. When temperature is too high or cold, people avoid going somewhere, because they can be sick, due to ailments, such as sunstroke and heart stroke. If people spend time in a trip place with bad weather, they cannot can't enjoy their trip well. Let's take my personal experience as the example. When I was a high school student, I went to Mexico for short term missions. Mexico was so hot, and people could not couldn't endure running or playing games in outside with children. But I continued worship dances with my friends. Finally, I got a very serious illness. I could not couldn't eat and move in Mexico. Although I planned to go famous places in Mexico, after finishing short term missions, I could not couldn't visit anywhere.^With this experience, I realize that weather is very important for having a good trip.
Another compelling reason is that weather also affects people's feeling. According to the survey conducted by INHA university in Science department, a surprising result is reported that weather can control human's emotion. Sometimes, most people may think that raining makes people depressed out, but sunny weather gives brightness to people. It shows that people's feeling can be changed, according to weathers. It also reflects trip. Let's take my mother's experience as the example. When my mother went to a the trip with her friends, weather was so bad. Her feeling was so bad, even though she was happy to depart first time. Although she could experience a lot of various things, her feeling was so bad, because of raining. Then she realized that weather affects people's feeling even in traveling places.
All in all, because of those reasons mentioned above, I firmly think that one of the most important factors for having an enjoyable trip is peasant weather.
Good (24-25)
첫번째 본문 -축약형 지양해주세요. can't-->cannot, couldn't-->could not -명사 앞에 관사 -띄어쓰기 오류
두번째 본문 -수일치 오류 -소유격 ~의 여행이므로 소유격 표현해주세요. 결론 -모음앞에는 an
내용 괜찮으나 둘다 personal experience 인것이 아쉽습니다. 하나 이상은 객관적인 예시 써주세요. 자잘한 문법 오류들 줄여주세요.
수고하셨습니다~~ |