▶ Your Answer :
There is some discrepancy over whether the best way to prevent the companies with producing environmentally harmful products is imposing a penalty. Some people agree with this idea because the companies do not want to be imposed a fine. However, I firmly believe that other ways are more effective. The reasons are as follow. (Briefly mention the reasons) To begin with, the government can utilize several appropriate inducements (Clearly state this) to the companies to produce eco-friendly products. Imposing a penalty might cause the maleficent effects on the relationship between the government and the companies. Instead, the government can use various incentives such as the reduction of tax and the support to companies' projects. (Reward doesn't make sense) For example, the Korean government abolished the policy imposing a penalty to the companies producing eco-friendly products from last year. To be specific, the government provided the reduction of tax for several companies. In conclusion, according to the research conducted by Seoul National University, the number of the companies producing unharmful less harmful products increased about two times more than two years ago. From this change, I realized that the incentive serves for inducing the companies to elicit the specific reactions. In addition, signing a treaty (Such as?) with other nations is also a beneficial way. Nowadays, a lot of nations are interested in reducing the air-pollution or alleviating the heat island effect. They also try to compose a global institution to cope with the global warming. Such communities or agreements are more advantageous to the nations as well as the companies. For instance, In 2016, the UN signed the Paris Climate Agreement with plenty of nations. This means What it means is that the nations participating in this agreement should reduce each country's greenhouse effect and the amount of emitted carbon dioxide within twenty years. Actually, a lot of global corporations including Samsung, Amazon, and LG announced each plan in terms of reducing the harmful remnants. Also, a lot of experts praised this agreement because the scale and the impact of this are more enormous than they anticipated. Like this example, Making a treaty or a institution encouraging many people's participation can be an alternative to imposing a penalty.
To sum up, I stand for proponents of the view that suggest imposing a penalty is not the best way for controlling bad companies for two reasons : The government can use some inducements and they can also make a regulation among the nations.
| 채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | Score | Fair 16-19 | - 바디의 첫 문장은 대부분 thesis로 쓰이기 때문에 반드시 명료하게 작성해줄 수 있도록 해주세요. - 앞서말한 국제기후협약은 국가간의 협약인데 이것이 어떻게 기업과 연관되어 있으며 그들에게 pressure를 줄 수 있는지 명확히 나타니 있지 않네요.
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