▶ Your Answer : Undoubtedly, scientists discoveries play a significant role in people`s daily lives in many of the places where they work or play. Some people think that negative results of scientists` discoveries are attributed to scientists, while others do not think differently. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that negative study results of scientists` discoveries are not due to scientists and it helps people`s lives. There is a reason as follows for the following subsequent reasons. To begin with, when scientists find out negative results in studying, they can prevent climate change scientists can prevent climate change. The negative results of the air pollution research make scientists know that fossil fuels negatively affect the environment how fossil fuels negatively influence the atmosphere. The government and individuals who are well-aware of such dangers are willing to actively participate and invest in the development of new energy sources to develop the new energy sources. For instance, recently in the United States, Texas suffered from unexpected massive flood, leading to property damage and thousands of deaths. This was a very rare phenomenon for a state known for its dry weather. Many scientists are linking link this event to the increase in CO2 mainly caused by driving cars. Their argument is based on the fact that the number of cars has been increasing tremendously. It is not exaggerating to say that cars have been the main cause of destroying the environment. After this experience, the government and citizens recognize the danger in the fossil fuels and scientists start to develop new pro-environment fuels. If scientists had not known the environment crisis from a study, many people had not been able to know the environment problems and invest in developing the new energy sources. All things considered, I strongly believe that the negative results of research are not owing to scientists and rather scientists suggest solutions for a reason I have mentioned above. All in all, the importance of scientists cannot be overestimated in life.
점수: 22 한 단락에 너무나 많은 정보를 넣으려고 하는 독립형 에세이입니다. 이러한 경향들은 전반적으로 독립형 에세이로 하여금 플로우를 장황하게 만듭니다. 플로우 자체가 장황하게 되다 보면 본레 자기가 전달하려고 했던 의미들이 변질되게 됩니다. 따라서 지금 이 에세이에서 필요한 것은 좀 더 구체적이고 간결하게 본인의 주장을 전달하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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