■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic :
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better for young people to select a job in the same field as their parents than to choose a different career for themselves. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. |
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▶ Your Answer :
Some people believe that children need to get jobs in different fields with their parents. They say it makes their perspective wider. However, I think that it is definitely better to have a similar kind of job to their parents, rather than have a different job with their parents. There are some reasons for my thought.
First, children can get to know their parents’ job since they were very young. If they are well-known about some kinds of jobs, it makes them more professional than other people who do not have parents in the same field. This can be a huge benefit for a long term. For my personal experience, my mother is a professor at a renowned university. She is good at balancing her work, teaching her students and study her major field. My older sister, who is a professor now, has always seen how my mother makes balance and achieve good papers. As a result, she has some good reputations since she became a professor two years ago.
On top of that, having the same job with one’s parents and other family members has some benefits with their family relationship. If whole family members have similar careers, it is that they can get their vacations at the same time. Also, they know when others are busy or not, it is easy to make a trip plan which makes everybody satisfied. For instance, one of my middle school friends has parents who are professors and two brothers that one is a professor and the other is a teacher of a high school. They all have summer and winter vacation during a similar period, so they went lots of trip in my friend’s vacation. It looked fantastic and almost all other classmates felt envy for her. Furthermore, since they had a large amount of time with each other, my friend’s family bond was stronger than any other families I have ever seen.
To sum up, I assert that it is pretty better for kids to have a similar career with their parents for two reasons that kids can get to know much well about their job field and that they can have a similar vacation together, which makes their family bond stronger.
점수: 28 지적할 부분이 없는 독립형 에세이입니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요한 부분을 차지하는 것 중에 하나는 설득력 입니다. 지금 이 에세이는 설득력 부분에 있어서는 완벽하게 잘 소화하면서 에세이를 서술하고 있는 거 같습니다. 각 단락들이 아주 논리적으로 자신의 의견을 풀어나가는 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |
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30분 재고 풀었고 총370자입니다. 피드백 및 첨삭 부탁드리겠습니다. 감사합니다.