▶ Your Answer : Some people might say that the external information (Like what?) is the focal point to judge the other people. However, in my opinion, I strongly believe that we should never judge the other people based on external appearance resources. I'll give two reasons to help clarify my argument.
To begin with, the external resources is a very infinitesimal factor to weigh up the people in the contemporary world. Some people tend to misunderstand that the externals one totally reflects the inner side one. The external one is totally variable one. We can easily change this one with some support. (What is that?)Supposed that if a person with filthy bedecks himself as a gentleman, the person would change per se? The answer would be No. I'll take my personal experience as an example to elucidate my point of view. When I was a sophomore in university, there was a friend who seemed to be a little bit sloppy in my University. He always wore the same apparel and smelled odors. So nobody contact him. In the meantime, I had a chance to keep in touch with him in the festival. After talking to him personally speaking ot each other, I totally realized that he was a really good person in terms of everything. I thought that he always would be there for me through thick and thin.
On top of that, the real perspective comes from the inner ones. (Clarify it) I think almost all people agree with my opinion that (It can be the partial opinion) a person with good appearance but no suitable attitude to live in the world is not a good one. It means that the main factor that weighs up other people is not the external ones, but the inner ones. The individuality or manner is not evanescent one. It will take a significant time to make him a better person. There was a survey conducted by a group of the Sociology professor, with 200 respondents. The purpose of the study was to figure out what kinds of people were more preferable. There was two group monitored. The first group consisted of a good appearance like an attractive face and decent apparel but don't have nay manner. And the other group were totally vice versa. What they found was extremely intriguing. The overwhelming 85% preferred the people in the second group after several talking.
Taking considering the external ones as a variable thing and the power of inner ones into consideration, the external factor is not an essential factor to weigh up people.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 3 | Score | Fair 17-20 |
- 다양한 어휘를 활용한다는 점에서 좋은 점수를 주고싶습니다.
- 다만 두 번째 내용에서 I think~이하 모든 사람이 나와 같은의견을 가질 것으로 생각한다는 자칫하면 false assumption이 될 수 있으므로 제외하여 주세요.
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