▶ Your Answer : As I am introvert person, I feel more comfortable to work alone but in generally I think working with together is better and work alone. So I agree with that statement, Here are some reasons as to why,
First of all, there are several benefits about while people are having a hard time together, they can get an energy with each others and they can help each other. For example, when you are working in a team, team members can encourage them selves, that makes people work more harder. And also when you are working alone, nobodies can't give you an advice or help. You need to do all things by your self. If you are sick, no bodies cant do your work instead of you. In my experience, my friend was selling clothes. At first she said she will work alone and take all money. But she need to select the clothes, coordinate by her self, needs to be a model, and send posts to customer. As a results her room was full of boxes and clothes and feel tired. At that moment, she thought she has to hired workers, so she start to hire more people and working with less stress.
Secondly, lot of team members can give an idea that make the work advanced. There is an old saying that two head s are better than one. For example in clothes company, people should talk about the designs, model, cloths and delivery to make the work more fluently to customer. But if workers are very few or only one person work, they can't bring the good idea and difficult to improve them selves. Many people can check together and have a meeting to make a products better. Team members can prevent the mistakes and more easy to advance.
For this reasons, working with many people has more benefit then working alone.
점수: 22 너무 구어체인 에세이입니다. 독립형 에세이의 기준은 전체적으로 주제에 대하여서 에세이 형태로 자신의 의견을 전달하는 거 입니다. 하지만 지금 이 에세이 같은 경우는 에세이를 서술한 것 같은 느낌이 드는 것이 아니라 그냥 자신의 이야기를 하는 거 같습니다. 따라서 구어체로 에세이를 서술하는 것이 아닌 구체적으로 문어체를 사용하여서 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |