▶ Your Answer : It is debatable whether parents should express their disapproval towards the teachers when the parents do not agree with the way the teachers are teaching of teaching. This is an intriguing question because opinions concerning this issue can be different depending on the individual perspectives. In my opinion, however, I support that parents should not express their disapproval towards the teachers for the following reasons.
First of all, parents should not bother teacher's teaching to avoid adding pressure on their already busy schedule. To be specific, thinking teacher's teaching consumes a lot of time and energy, which make people tired and inefficient. Many people today are very busy with (전치사가 들어가야 합니다) their life full of tasks and responsibilities. They can successfully multitask and stay focused at the same time only if they keep a balance in their daily life. For example, when i was younger, my parents were (동사가 없습니다) too busy to bother my teacher's teaching and rather than believed teachers because of their adept skills.
In addition, there are many advantages of not expressing their disapproval towards the teachers because it makes their lives much more efficient and convenient. To be specific, parents do not need to think teacher's ways, which as a result allow them to expend less energy, save extra time, and lead productive lives. In today's fast-paced world, there is a necessity to effectively utilize time and lead easier lives. People can do this better by utilizing teachers and believing them. For instance, according to a study done by the Korea Times, it revealed that parents who bother their children's teacher have a lot of stress.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that it is more beneficial for them (them의 대상이 모호합니다 not to bother their teachers. It is my belief that my argument regarding this topic has been effectively and precisely delivered with the reasons mentioned above. Never should we forget this issue may have a huge impact on our future.
점수: 22 이 에세이는 주제를 벗어난 거 같습니다. 이 에세이의 전반적인 주제는 부모님들이 선생의 가르키는 것에 개입을 해야하는 지 아닌지에 대한 에세이인데. 지금 이 에세이를 읽어보면 인트로 부터 시작해서 결론까지 도대체 어떤 관련이 있는지 모를만큼 모호하게 에세이를 서술한 거 같습니다. 지금 이 에세이에서 가장 필요한 것은 구체적으로 자신의 주장을 설명하는 것이 가장 좋을 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |