▶ Your Answer : Some people believe that students in high school or university should focus on only their major subjects only. However, this essay will contend that studying general subjects is important to students. This is because taking general subjects helps students to expand social networking. Moreover, they can broaden their perspective.
To begin with, students have a lot of opportunities to meet with classmates in distinctive field. Even though it is imperative for When students to concentrate more on their major subjects, students would have less chance to make new friends with dissimilar knowledge, which is because students can make only classmates with the same knowledge in major classes. However, if students take general subjects actively, they will make new friends who major in other subjects because classes of general subject usually have encourage many students in different areas to take. For example, when I was in high school, I attached with great importance to taking and studying major subjects. The tendency made it difficult for me to meet with other classmates in different fields. I just was familiar just with my classmates who majored in the same subjects . When my classmates met with others who studied other subjects, I had to spend time alone, which made me lonely.
In addition, students can have a big picture when they study general subjects. Studying major subjects helps students to know about the knowledge in details . However, the way would cause student's perspective to be narrowed when they handle other problems with regard to for their major. This means that they only solve problems in connection with their major or they need to spend a lot of time solving to solve some problems regardless of other than their major. For instance, Steve Jobs seems to be the representative case corroborating the fact that he tended to take various general subjects. He studied not only Computer Science but also Greek mythology, Physics and Calligraphy. The general subjects were conductive to him when he developed the first computer with multiple typefaces and proportionally space fonts.
결론 문단 써 주세요
Comment : 다양한 친구들을 만나고 시야를 넓힐 수 있다는 주장은 입장을 뒷받침하기에 적절합니다. 다만 각 본론에서 주장을 설명하는 과정에서 불필요하게 반복되는 내용이나 논리가 약한 부분들은 수정&보완이 필요해 보입니다. 어색한 표현과 문법 오류도 줄일 수 있도록 신경써주세요~ 수고 많으셨습니다~!
Independent Writing Rubrics Score 3.5/5 An essay at this level is marked by one or more of the following : - Addresses the topic and task using somewhat developed explanations, exemplifications and/or details (일정 수준의 설명과 예시를 활용하여 문제의 요구사항을 해결함) - Displays unity, progression and coherence, though connection of ideas may be occasionally obscured (문맥이 모호한 부분들이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 어느 정도 드러남) - May demonstrate inconsistent facility in sentence formation and word choice that may result in lack of clarity and occasionally obscure meaning (문장의 구성 또는 어휘의 선택에서 내용의 명확성이 떨어지거나 의미 전달이 불분명한 부분들이 있음) - May display accurate but limited range of syntactic structures and vocabulary (답안의 내용은 주제에 부합하지만 제한된 문장구조나 어휘를 사용함) |