▶ Your Answer :
The reading passage contends that there are three specific factors that contributed to the prosperity of the Roman Empire. On the other hand, the lecturer brings up several points that contradicts this argument.
First of all, the lecturer points that one of the reasons that the Roman Empire flourished was not its political structure. This is attributed to the fact that actually emperor had a powerful authority according to the Roman constitution. Moreover, he wanted to gain more power. This refutes the author’s points that one of the reasons that the Roman Empire flourished was not its political structure.
Moreover, in the lecture, the point is made that the Roman Empire was not success because of its advanced technology. It is true that Roman Empire had weapons, However, the weapons are not enough to provide army. This casts doubt on the idea in the reading passage that the Roman Empire was success because of its advanced technology.
The final point made by lecturer is that the Roman Empire did not success as a result of its excellent social welfare system. It is true that cheep products such as corn, oil are popular with people. But, selling goods at cheep price is high level public spending. This is different from the passage’s view that Roman Empire prospered as a result of its excellent social welfare system.
점수: 22 일단 문법적인 오류는 보이지 않는 통합형 에세이입니다. 하지만 구조 부분에 있어서는 문제가 보입니다. 통합형 에세이에서 가장 중요하게 보는 것은 한 주제에 대하여서 서로 다른 정보를 가지고 있는 리딩고 리스닝이 어떻게 비교하고 반박을 하는 것인지를 보는 것 입니다. 지금 이 에세이는 리딩에 대한 부분을 한 문장으로만 각 단락에서 언급 하셨는데. 이 부분들은 너무 빈약합니다. 한 문장으로 리딩에 대한 정보를 끝내는 것 보다는 리스닝을 좀 더 반박할 수 있는 부분들을 더 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |