▶ Your Answer : I think it is better to begin the school days early. (인트로가 여기서 끝나는 건가요? 뭔가 더 설명이 필요 해보입니다)
For more than three decades, merits of waking up early and consequently starting one's day early have been widely promoted. And many people proved them as true. By opening their day early, people not only can use more time earned productively, but also be healthier It has been proved by many people as people became healthier when they get up early. These advantages are also shown in children. In a one-year research conducted by Seoul National University in 2017, children who started the day before 6 a.m. but no later than 6:30 shows more improvement in academic and development in physical growth. On average, 6 points more in tests and 2 inches more in height. On the other hand, the control group who woke up after 8 a.m. flailed significantly in both measures. According to a survey asked participating students about their emotions and feelings, more positive tendency was presented. (이 단락을 통해서 하고자 하는 말이 무엇인지 잘 모르겠습니다. 전체적으로 설명이 너무나도 부족한 거 같습니다) Moreover, it is also because of many of standardized tests of the country begin early many standardized tests begin early. For example. Korean aptitude starts at 7:50 a.m. which require students to get up at least 6 a.m. to arrive at test centers in time. As the test is executed only once in a year, students should be physically and mentally fully prepared for the test. However, if the students do not have a habit to wake up early, it becomes hard to meet the expectation. Numerous scientific researches tried to decipher how much time is required for a brain to actively engage in different tasks of life from putting on jeans to taking a test. According to the researches, it usually takes two hours for brain. Merely waking up and opening one's eyes cannot successfully process advanced levels of tasks. In other words, students who want to flourish on the test date must wake up two hours earlier than the test begin, which means 5:50 a.m. However, without sufficient practice before the test, it is hard for them to wake up at that early hour. By setting the school day early, students can practice it by complying with the rule.
In conclusion, it is better to set the school days early, for waking up early affects positively to students academically, physically, and psychologically. In addition, considering the start time of the most important test of students' life is early and to prime up for it requires waking up early, it is truly in students' favor.
점수: 20 전체적으로 이 에세이를 통하여서 무슨 말을 전달하려고 하는 지 모르겠습니다. 이 에세이에서 가장 큰 문제는 인트로에서 부터 나와있는 거 같습니다. 인트로를 한 문장으로만 서술하였는데 이 부분을 통해서 전체적인 에세이 방향성이 무엇인지도 모르겠구 무슨 말을 전달하려고 하는 지 전혀 이해가 되지 않습니다. 전체적으로 에세이를 장황하게 서술하였는 데 각 문장 속에서 전달하는 의미를 파악 못하겠습니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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