▶ Your Answer :
The reality people often encounter shifts an individual’s experience. It is ironic to think an experience itself is affected by their past experiences. However, considering how the past experiences distort, transform and misrepresent the reality people perceive. It seems clear that experiences can make differences people’s perspective. To prove one’s perspective true, one should be able to justify his or her viewpoint and overcome objections. Though many people see this issue as movies and television have negative effects on young people, my perspective is movies and televisions have positive effects on young people because it gives them worthy moral lessons and it has many functions.
To begin with, when young people watch some movies, they can learn various moral lessons. These moral lessons give young people to develop good personalities. When young people had some good personal traits, they are likely to bring a better result in school or in their life. For example, when I was a little child, I watched a movie named, ‘Insideout’. Before I watch this movie, I was very timid and I always have some doubts about myself. However, after I watched this movie I change my thought in a positive way and I could rely on myself. I remembered one of this movie character’s lines until now. He said, “If you believe in yourself first, anything is possible.” This word had such a huge influence on me that I believe movies gives many advantage effects to me.
In addition, television has many useful information and functions, when these information and functions are well used, it is likely to bring a better result on young people’s performance such as studying. For instance, when my father was a little child, he loved to watch a television which is a comedy, drama etc. So, his parents trying to stop him to watch a television, however, my father made a promise with his parents that he will watch just an educational program. He did most of his middle school studies on television’s educational program. Therefore, he had some successful results on every test. This example clearly illustrates that television have good effects on young people.
Truth must be settle at some point; only one perspective can survive, and the rest subsides into history. In such a case, man must ceaselessly refine his view until it is finally accepted as truth. I have corroborated my perspective on this topic that movies and television have positive effects on young people with various moral lessons and useful information and functions. It is time for settlement.
점수: 22 전체적으로 인트로 부터 시작해서 결론까지 많이 장황한 에세이입니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요하게 차지하는 것 중에 하나는 에세이가 얼마나 설득력이 있나 입니다. 지금 이 에세이 같은 경우는 처음부터 끝까지 장황하기 때문에 어떤 주제를 가지고 자신의 이야기를 풀어나가는 지 잘 모르겟습니다. 따라서 좀 더 설득력있게 간결하게 자신의 의견을 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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