▶ Your Answer :
These days, some
people take it for granted that groups will have a good progress, if a person
tends to do what other team members want. However, contrary to this idea, it is
evident that the group will be helped more by one who persists in doing things different
from what the group wants to do than one willing to do the same things with
others. (Briefly mention your reasons here)
Admittedly, having different ideas with
others is too stressful for all the group members. This is mainly because when
there are more arguments, it can provoke controversies and takes more time to
reach a conclusion. This situation will give more stress to all members of the group out. In
fact, stress is one of the primary factors of illnesses because it undermines
the ability of the immune system in fighting diseases. For example, my uncle, a
doctor working at a general hospital in a city, often tells me that scores of his
patients suffer adverse health effects from stress. They generally come to him
for stress-related ailments and disorders. He has found the relationship
between stress and human diseases such as headaches, high blood pressure, and
insomnia. In this sense, it is more healthful for groups to work with one willing
to do what others want than to do with a member insisting his or her idea.
However, persisting in one’s own ideas
can increase motivation in other members. By sharing dissimilar ideas with the members,
the participants can get an inspiration or innovative idea. This can be a
facilitator which motivates them to improve themselves. They will make more
efforts, concentrate more,(On what?) and feel more responsible for what they do in the
group. Therefore, this can bring about better outcomes at work or school. As a
case in point, my brother, a college students majoring in computer science,
went through a hard time coming up with ideas for a group project related to an
application development. However, since a student who has studied art for a
long time participated in the project, he has changed little by little. He
started to spend more time working and came up with new ideas. The reason was
that he was inspired to develop an art application. (What is that?) If he had not done with the
project with a person who studied art, he would still have trouble developing
the application.
On balance, some might argue that
people should work with one doing what others want. Nevertheless, it seems to
me that doing a project with a person persisting in one’s own opinion is
desirable. The example of motivation supports the argument.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 3 | 3
| 2 | 2 | Score | Fair 18-23 |
- 첫 번째 예시는 stress 에만 초점을 크게 맞추고 있습니다. group 과 다른 의견을 주장하는 한 명의 member 또는 leader에게 큰 도움을 받을 수 있다는 주장에 대하여 강력히 언급해주셔야만 합니다.
- 두 번째 내용은 어떠한 application을 말하는지에 대하여 분명히 전달되어 있지 않는 것으로 보입니다. |
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