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Today, lots of mobile phones exist. are existing. Samsung, Apple, Xiaomi… Numerous brands are showing up their new product, and according to the news, approximately more than 80% of people all around the world are possessing their cell phones. As the mobile era begins, some people assert that the mobile phone gives us more freedom. However, in my opinion, mobile phones are the restriction of our life. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with, the Social Media Network, as known as SNS, is too much popular. (이걸 설명하려면 mobile phone과 SNS와의 관계부터 설명이 제일 먼저 나와야합니다. 그리고 SNS가 어떻게 영향을 미치는지 설명해야 팔로업이 됩니다) In the SNS, almost everyone shows their life. People want to show their life and want others to respect them. Therefore, they sometimes spend over-budget, to display their financial power. In addition, according to the article from “Josun-Ilbo”, by looking at the social influencer, some people feel they are the loser. Although they are very common people, they just look at the social influencer, who has lots of money or who is very beautiful, and think they are below others. This means that the development of the mobile phone makes more restrictions on people. People don’t allow them to be the loser in the SNS, and they control themselves more strictly. 의견을 피력하는 부분은 너무 적은데에 반해 조선일보 paraphrase한 부분이 너무 깁니다. 물론 그거 쓰면 좋지만 기사보다는 자기 의견이 충분히 나온 후에 기사가 나와야 주장이 뒷받침되는 겁니다.
On top of that, people can call each other easily by using phone. We can call each other whenever and wherever we are. This might seem an advantage of the cell phone, however, it means that you are not free from other people. For example, my friend is in a very strict house. Her mom calls her more than two times per hour, to ask where she is and what she is doing. Also, when she hangs out with me until 11 pm, then her mom calls her at least six times per hour, like one time per ten minutes! When she doesn’t get her mom’s call, then she will be punished for that. As you can see in this case, calling can be a limitation to people. (예시가 너무 weak합니다. 또 전화 하나로 paragraph를 쓰기에는 본인의 의견이 너무 짧고 설득력이 크게 없는 것 같아 아쉽습니다)
To sum up, we can easily call others to limit them, and the Social Media Network could be redemption to us. For these reasons, I firmly believe that the era of the Mobile phone brings us a limit, not freedom. |