■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : Children should have art and music as mandatory school subjects along with math, history, science, and language. |
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▶ Your Answer : Sadly, subjects such as art and music are often disregarded as 'soft subjects', while subjects like math, history, science, and language are considered as 'traditional subjects' and loved by students and parents. Parents therefore insist that their children do not need to learn art and music in school as they are not as important as other subjects such as math. Nonetheless, I firmly believe that schools (단/복수) should teach art and music.
First and foremost, learners should be able to do both academic subjects and practical subjects, math and art respectively. If we compare art and math or music and science, they seem to be irrelevant. They require different skills and scientists argue that art and music use the right side of the brain and math and science are using left side of the brain. However, you cannot be a great biologist if you do not know how to draw animal's cell wall. Similarly, you cannot be a (관사 필요합니다) marvelous artist if you have no idea about human body structures including bones and muscle. Therefore learning both types of subject is important.
In addition, arts and musics will enhance creativity of educators. Other subjects that are regarded more important, history and language, require people to commonly memorize facts and words. This will not help younger people to grow as a (unique 앞 a는 an으로 변하지 않습니다. 발음 차이 때문입니다) unique person, but it will rather make them to be merely knowing some random dates that can be searched online. What students should be (수동태) really taught at school is to be able to express their ingenious thoughts and mind in different kinds of forms. As many other artists and musicians do, youngers will soon know how to handle paints and instruments to show their emotions to the world. Even more, students can actually continue their art or music as their major in university. To recapitalize, I would argue that arts and musics should be mandatory subjects in school as well as math, history, science and language. Arts and musics will benefit kids whatever major they want to pursue, even if it is not related to arts and music. Also, art and music will make sure that learners in school can utilize right tools to expand their creative works.
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1. 문법은 대체적으로 깔끔한 편입니다. 말씀 드린 부분 참고해주세요! 2. make는 사역동사이기 때문에 뒤에 to부정사가 아닌 동사원형이 옵니다.
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3. 첫 번째 바디 문단이 애매모호합니다. artist가 되는 것과 human body의 상관관계를
좀 더 명확히 설명해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다.