It is true that tourism can damage many local memorial places. While this is a serious problem, it can be solved by organizing comprehensive educational programs for tourists.
The main cause of the historical places not being preserved well well not preserved
is that tourists forget the historical significance. Tourists are mostly from other
province and other countries, thus isiting, they easily get got excited when experiencing new
sight-seeing and beautiful historical sites. For example, there was a term ugly
Chinese for a while. This means that, which refers to the ugly behavior of Chinese in touristic
places. (바로 밑의 글에서 말씀드린 문장의 연결의 사례가 바로 이 앞 두 문장으로 보시면 됩니다. 굳이 나눠서 작성할 필요가 없어요.) It was an issue that one of them wrote his name on a memorial. Like this,
sometimes people who go on a trip show less responsible of thoughts to preserve
those places.
However, there are solutions to this problem. One of
the ways to solve this problem is to organize that organizing comprehensive educational programs
for tourists. Education is an effective method to remind tourists tourist to remind that they need
to behave in responsible ways. Also, they can learn to appreciate for tourist
attractions. For example, if the government organizes short times of educational
programs in the broadcast in aircraft, tourists can learn basic information of
the countries and how to value them. (비행기에는 관광객 말고 각종 목적의 사람들이 있는데 교육을 비행기에서 한다는 것은 현실성이 전혀 없죠.) Like this example, the way of delivering
education should be discussed in that way people more concern, to make people be more concerned about their behavior.
To sum up, it is clear that excitement of travel is a
big reason behind the damaged touristic sites. Nevertheless, the issue can be resolved
by organizing proper educational program to tourists.
총평: (6/6/6/5) 6.0
이전 글보다는 살짝 나은데, 여하튼 문법으로 인해 당분간의 예상 점수는 오프토픽인 경우를 제외하고는 5.5-6.0에서 왔다갔다할 겁니다. 따라서 글 쓰는 것과 별개로 꾸준히 문법+어휘를 공부해주시고, 한꺼번에 많이 쓰는 것보다 하루에 한세트씩 꾸준히 쓰는 걸 목표해주세요~수고하셨습니다 :)
+본론 두 번째 문단의 비행기 관련은 최소한의 현실적인 해결책으로 바꿔주시면 됩니다.