※ 아래 스크립트는 발표자의 발표내용을 그대로 표기하였으므로 구어체 표현이 포함되어있고,
일부 문장은 문법적 오류가 포함될수 있는점 참고 부탁드립니다.
I still remember a 14-year-old me falling in the face in the classroom after one of my classmates flying-kicked me in the back. In front of me was another classmate who I have known since elementary school. And when he looked down at me, I could tell that he was confused. Because he was such a good guy who didn't want anyone to be bullied in such a pathetic way, but still was a friend of the guy who flying-kicked me. So, he had no other option but to look away and pass by as if nothing had happened to me. This was not the first time I got bullied in school, but it still sticks in my head. And that's because that was the first time when I realized what it felt like to be abandoned in a community with no one trying to hold my hands and raise me up from the floor.
Throughout my entire middle school years, I got bullied. Every morning, I would plead with God to leave me completely alone in school. And of course, I know isolation is painful too, but at least, it doesn't take your money and it doesn't give you bruise. But luckily, I was really, really tough in middle school so I almost never cried or sobbed, except when one bully told me at school camp, “I don't know why you even need to exist.” That night, I had to hold back my tears until the bedtime, so no one could see me sobbing.
The things got much better in high school. No bully, no friend. My life was much more sufferable and which led me to think life could be just fine without friends. Then some kids approached me in the school. They were not cool kids, and they were actually being avoided by the students. But they bonded together to form a community in which they could feel the friendship. I really loved that, so I got in immediately. And I realized that life could be so much better with friends and them. I was really happy with that community because I felt connected. But they soon walked away. Again, I was left alone in the cold, but the problem was, this time, I was no longer fine with being alone.
I wanted to change, but I was afraid of it because I was so timid that I almost never talked to anyone. But, some part of me knew that I must fight the fears that had long haunted me, if I were to really change. Since then, whenever someone would come up to me and begin to talk, I would try to reply as much as possible, which was really scary to me. Day after day, day after day, I would regret the silly mistake that I had made during our conversations with random classmates, and that was painful too. And one day, a couple of classmates asked me to play a board game in the classroom. I was afraid, but I said yes. While playing the game, I got so nervous that I made a few stupid mistakes and I was like I would hate myself again. But then I saw that those mistakes made them laugh. They were having fun. They were enjoying my company. That day, I made a true friend, the first true friend in nearly a decade.
I have never shared this experience until very recently. My family and my friends still have no idea of what I have been through. But now I'm here to bring this out because I came to realise that the only way I could truly let it go is to forgive those bullies and build myself on top of that experience.
And all this taught me that change is painful, but still possible. For me, what happened on that day in the classroom was not something that just happened to me, but something I earned. I earned myself a true friend by putting myself through painful challenges. And that's why I believe change is possible. So, trust me. We all can change. If a teenage boy who got bullied, depressed, and abandoned in a community could do it, who else could not? Thank you.